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In this clip, Shana responds to an AMP Inner Circle member’s question about being friends with a woman and being turned on by her at the same time.

Post your comments, reflections, insights here!

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For information about coaching with Shana email: shana@authenticsf.com.

Friendly Turn On

Hi, this is Shana from the Authentic Man Program, and I’m responding to a post called ‘Friendly Turn On.’ How do you stay friends with a woman when you’re into her and really attracted to her and she’s not so attracted to you.

The first thought that I have, this is kind of funny, but, is ‘breathe. a lot.’

So, it’s like, you can relate to turn-on in one way, and actually, in the post, he says something about being hot and bothered. You can relate to turn-on in that way, where it’s like, it overcomes you and you can’t do anything about it, and usually hot and bothered is because there’s only so much room that you’re making for turn-on, as opposed to letting it flow through your whole body and actually breathing and enjoying it, and letting it move, instead of trying to clamp it down.

So one would think that if you were letting it move that you might have to do something with it, or that it might be a little bit more awkward, cause someone might see it more, but I don’t think it’s true actually, I think there’s a way that- and I’ve done this myself, where I’m turned on and attracted to a man and he’s not available and I just feel it.

I can think of one man in particular, where, being around him was like, my body would buzz and there was all this energy, and when I let myself enjoy it, and let myself feel good with it, then it was fun, and it was fun to be around him, and there were moments where I was like, ‘ugh! God, I wish it wasn’t this way, or I wish he was available, I wish we could do something about it, but such is life!’ And I played with it.

So that would be my first suggestion for you is to breathe and actually expand the space in your body that you’re allowing turn-on to be in, and see if you can play with it and have fun, you know? It’s not to say that you’re never gonna be disappointed or that it’s not gonna feel shitty in some moments and perhaps you can talk about that with her if you’re honest, if you’re in that kind of honest relationship and perhaps to talk about that with other people.

I hope that helps!