The player will show in this paragraph
The player will show in this paragraph
The player will show in this paragraph
TCLT Web page: http://www.AuthenticManProgram.com/TCLTThe player will show in this paragraph
Friendly Turn On
Hi, this is Shana from the Authentic
Man Program, and I’m responding to a post called ‘Friendly Turn
On.’ How do you stay friends with a woman when you’re into her and
really attracted to her and she’s not so attracted to you.
The first thought that I have,
this is kind of funny, but, is ‘breathe. a lot.’
So, it’s like, you can relate
to turn-on in one way, and actually, in the post, he says something
about being hot and bothered. You can relate to turn-on in that way,
where it’s like, it overcomes you and you can’t do anything about
it, and usually hot and bothered is because there’s only so much room
that you’re making for turn-on, as opposed to letting it flow through
your whole body and actually breathing and enjoying it, and letting
it move, instead of trying to clamp it down.
So one would think that if you
were letting it move that you might have to do something with it, or
that it might be a little bit more awkward, cause someone might see
it more, but I don’t think it’s true actually, I think there’s
a way that- and I’ve done this myself, where I’m turned on and attracted
to a man and he’s not available and I just feel it.
I can think of one man in particular,
where, being around him was like, my body would buzz and there was all
this energy, and when I let myself enjoy it, and let myself feel good
with it, then it was fun, and it was fun to be around him, and there
were moments where I was like, ‘ugh! God, I wish it wasn’t this
way, or I wish he was available, I wish we could do something about
it, but such is life!’ And I played with it.
So that would be my first suggestion
for you is to breathe and actually expand the space in your body that
you’re allowing turn-on to be in, and see if you can play with it
and have fun, you know? It’s not to say that you’re never gonna
be disappointed or that it’s not gonna feel shitty in some moments
and perhaps you can talk about that with her if you’re honest, if
you’re in that kind of honest relationship and perhaps to talk about
that with other people.
I hope that helps!
The player will show in this paragraph
Giving Women Extraordinary Experiences
Hi, this is Shana from the Authentic
Man Program, and I’m responding to a post about a question about giving
women extraordinary experiences and what to do if you don’t know how
to do that.
It was a question from a man who
said, ‘what if I really want to give women an extraordinary experience?’
because a lot of women are saying they want that, but I don’t know
that I know how to do that, and some women have a pretty high bar if
they’ve had these experiences before and are asking for them.
So…the first thing that comes
to mind is…talk to other men. And talk to women. And you can also
ask the woman or the woman that you’re dating what she wants or what
would be amazing for her. But it sounds like you’re wanting to come
into the relationship having some ideas and having, kind of, something
in your back pocket that you can do for her, so my suggestion is talk
to other men, ask what they have done with women, talk to other women,
ask what’s extraordinary for them. And then, like I said, really ask
the woman, because every woman is different, and we’re different every
day, in every moment.
So one thing that would be extraordinary
on one day, might seem not as extraordinary on another day, which is
a really great opportunity to practice not taking things personally!
So I hope that helps, and you know,
post on the list! Post on the men’s side of the forum and ask what
men do, and you can ask the question to women as well on our side. Thanks!
The player will show in this paragraph
Present in Thought
Hi, it’s Shana. I’m responding
to a question about whether as a woman, I ever notice that a man is
present, even though he’s not connecting with me, he’s just more
in thought.
The man who asked the question
was saying that he was looking at the clouds or sometimes kind of getting
lost in his own thoughts, and then noticing that sometimes people are
looking at him after. Not in a way that he’s crazy, but just that
people are looking at him.
So, it’s a little bit of a difficult
question to answer, but I personally can say that I definitely notice.
I actually really notice when people or when men especially are in thought
or really present in the moment or aware of what’s going on around
them or aware in the way that they’re paying attention to the surroundings,
like being impacted by a sunset or by a cityscape or something. Or when
I can feel that a man is going inside and really thinking or pondering
something.
I would say for me that really
draws my attention. And in part, I think, because we’re often moving
around so quickly and we don’t really stop and take the time that
when someone does and I notice that, I feel really curious.
So I don’t quite know, Derek,
if that answers your question, but I guess what my sense is is that
there’s another question under there that you haven’t quite asked
yet, but maybe that will come in part two.
And I hope that helps!
The player will show in this paragraph
Can a One-Night Stand be Connected?
Hi, it’s Shana. I’m responding to a question about one-night stands. Can they be connected? And what is the tipping point for a woman or has her actually want to have a one-night stand or say yes?
And, as always, I can only answer for myself, but what I can say is that, yes, in my experience, they can be connected. And at this point in my life, that’s the only way I really want to have a one-night stand. The other is not interesting to me, but I know that I and the AMP women are an interesting breed of women and we really really value connection.
So you may find women out there who don’t need as much connection as we want, but for me- and part of your question was, ‘is it looks, or is it physicality that has a woman- that is that tipping point?’ And for me, honestly, it doesn’t really have to do with that, you know, it’s how connected a man is with me, and when I imagine being in bed with him, because, if it’s a one-night stand, that’s where we’re going, what I imagine is how will he touch me and how will he adore me? And will he be able to pay attention to my body and what I like, and is he in it to give me an amazing experience as well as for his own pleasure.
And I can tell that, I can tell that by the way he pays attention to me in conversation, and I can tell that by the way he asks questions, and listens to me, and so I definitely- there are things that might surprise me, but I think at this point, I can pretty much tell from the way a man is being in his conversation and how present he is with me, how he will be in bed. And so for me, it’s not about looks necessarily or anything like that, it’s like, ‘huh. Can we actually create an amazing, pleasurable experience together?’
So I think that answers both questions; ‘can it be connected?’ and ‘what is the tipping point?’ And again, other women might have other tipping points, so I’m interested to hear what other women have to say, but for me, it’s like, ‘really can this be extraordinary?’ Because I don’t really want to waste my time or anyone else’s time if it’s not gonna be extraordinary. So there you have it! Hope that helps.
The player will show in this paragraph
Post your comments, reflections, insights here!Moon Time
Hey guys, it’s Alissa again- I’m gonna talk about something I’ve never heard brought up, questioned, asked about, anything on the AMP Inner Circle, and I think maybe because it’s kind of an uncomfortable topic, so I’m gonna talk about it. And it’s about female menstruation. Mooning. when a woman is having her period. That whole concept.
One way that it’s sometimes referred to, the woman’s monthly cycle is: on the rag. I hate that. If you could never, ever say that, that would make me very happy. I don’t know why it bothers me, it just sounds very derogatory in reference to something that is so sacred and so magnificent and so beautiful.
And so, I wanted to talk a little bit about that today. All the things that are going on with a woman during her moon time. I like to call it, ‘Moon Time,’ because it is such a sacred, primal, earthy process that’s happening for a woman, and I would love for men to understand a little bit more about how to support a woman during this time.
So, when a woman is ovulating- that’s when the egg comes out of the ovary, and its travelling down the fallopian tube, there’s all kinds of chemicals going on, being released, the body is preparing for the sperm- a woman starts to feel that. She’s getting a lot of energy surging through her body- it’s the time when woman are most- well, maybe not- there’s an opportunity for women to be a little bit more cranky and…introspective, and needing alone time.
For me personally, it’s a time when I question myself, I question my life, where am I going, who are my friends, am I being nurtured and cared for- it’s a very sacred time. The native Americans actually refer to a woman’s moon time as a sort of vision quest. And you’ve probably heard the term, ‘red tent,’ where women go and be together- it’s kind of a lost tradition here in the western culture, so this is why I wanted to talk about it a little more.
So there’s the ovulation period, where there’s a lot of energy happening, some crankiness happening, and then there’s when a woman is actually bleeding. She’s tired. Her body’s hurting- what are some things that you can do during a woman’s moon time to help her feel better and help your relationship feel better? Or even if it’s a girl friend of yours? Bring her some valerian root. Valerian root is a very strong- as long as she’s not allergic to it- a very strong relaxant. All natural, herbal, plant tincture that really helps calm the body down.
Back rubs. Oh my god. Just say, ‘hey, I know you’re mooning- can I give you a back rub? Can I massage your neck? Can I massage your shoulders?’ Oh my god! Talk about bing bing bing! 1000 points? Yea.
And what else? Hot water bottle. Many women don’t even know that heat- a really nice water bottle- not so much electric heat, but that would be okay too, if you didn’t have other heat, but warm water down where the ovaries are, you know, relaxing that area, and really honouring that time of a woman’s cycle. You as a man can have such a powerful influence on a woman, even if she’s not taking care of herself in that way. And hopefully she is, but you can take it to that next level of nurturing. It’s a really beautiful opportunity to be intimate with your partner in a non-sexual way is to really honor that time of the month, that is about creation? You know? And I’m sure you’ve probably experienced that women can be very emotional during this time, even over-emotional because there are so many emotions flooding the body, hormones happening…
So I just wanted to say that, you know? I just had some experiences recently when I was on my own moon time and a man said something to me that normally I would think- he said, ‘great tits,’ right? So I’m walking down the street- this is another point that I want you guys to understand, like the impact of things that happen to women during the day that you might not know about. This guy blurts out, ‘great tits,’ to me, and normally I’d be like, ‘oh, okay, men, they’re visual- he’s appreciating me, and even thought it’s a base kind of way of relating, that’s what he’s doing.’ But during the moon time…I wanted to rip his head off. It bothered me for like, half an hour, I was like, ‘what an asshole! Raar!’ You know? Because there’s so much of that kind of energy going- protecting myself, protecting my environment, so it was really kind of an affront.
So…just wanted to give you a little bit of a clue-in as to how to support women, how to love women, how to nurture and care for women, and just appreciating you being a man who’s even interested in that, and interested in hearing what I have to say about how to be a fantastic man and a fantastic lover, and the upholder of – being an authentic man in the world today. We totally need you. So thank you so much for listening and I appreciate this opportunity, so thank you.
The player will show in this paragraph
Post your comments, reflections, insights here!
Hello, men! This
is Alissa, and for this week’s post, I have come up with the 3 keys to
curiosity!
So, as you may
know, if you’ve done the Authentic Man Program, or if you have not, I’m gonna
tell you a little bit about this exercise that we do called ‘curiosity.’ And
it’s the opportunity for the men to sit with one of the women and ask her
questions. And so I was thinking about this. What are the keys to being really
authentically curious about a woman?
And this is kind
of a backlash from recent experiences I’ve had with men who were trying to get
attention from me in all the wrong ways. And so this is where these keys come
from. So, it’s actually the ABCs.
So A: Attention.
Where is your attention? Is your attention on yourself? Trying to get it right?
Trying to ask the perfect question, trying to get in there with her? Or is your
attention actually on her and what’s going on in the moment? And so, I’ll tell
you a little bit about this example later, but this man was trying to get
attention from me in all the wrong ways, and after I go through the ABCs, I’ll
tell you about that. So, attention- where is your attention?
The B of the ABCs
of curiousity, is Body. Are you in your body? And this really encompasses some
of the other keys of the holarchy, of the Authentic Man Program. Are you in
integrity in your life such that you feel confident and secure in your body, grounded
in your body? Or are you kind of, like, in your head, very head-y, kind of all
out here and moving around, so to speak? And, so are you in your body? Cause
the more you’re in your body, the more you’re gonna tap into her in her body,
because from my experience, I’m out of my body a lot of the time, and when a
man can put his attention on me and bring me back into my body, that’s pretty
hot. So body- being in your body. Being centered, grounded, in integrity, on
purpose, connecting with me from your truth and your grounded place? Hugely
helpful.
And then the C of
the ABCs of curiosity is…take a Chance! Don’t worry about it! You know, if
you’re genuinely curious about something, take a chance, take a risk, ask a
woman something that you are sincerely curious about. Even if it’s a little
racy, just try it- who knows? Go down flaming, crashing, burning, whatever- at
least you got out there and you tried it, and you tried something new. You
never know where those questions are gonna go.
Many times in my experience with the Authentic Man Program, when men really ask authentic questions, even if they are a little racy or out there, and they’re taking a risk, they usually land well. So no sense in being afraid, in your head, out of your body…take these keys into your life and really really use them. Where is your attention, is it on you or her? Are you in your body? And take a chance.
I hope this is helpful, so I’ll just give you a quick little synopsis of why I said this- I was in the post office today, and I was doing my thing, I was sending an international package and I had to step out of line, and go do the international tag thing, and this guy comes in, and he’s all like- he must’ve just come back from a workout or something, and I get back in line, and he didn’t know what was going on, and he’s like, ‘hey! I’m next! I’m number 98! Hrr hrr hrr!’ And I’m like, ‘okay,’ so I turned around, and I’m like, ‘hey- you know, I was here, and I was filling out this thing,’ and he was kind of like, ‘yea-‘ he’s talking to the back of my head, like he wanted to engage with me more, so I heard something going on, and I turned around and I said, ‘yea, I think they wanted to save paper by not having me pull a ticket.’
And he was like, offended by what I said, and it was just the weirdest thing, but I could tell there was this him wanting to connect with me, because he was keeping the conversation going, but he was like, annoyed and irritated, so…annoyance and irritation? Not a fun way to start a dialogue with someone. And the last piece of that was he was leaving, and I went back and I was writing some notes, at one of the stands, and he was kind of fiddling around, kind of like, waiting around- you know, the days of not being straight and just connecting eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart? Over!
So the more you can do that, the better. And leave that kind of demeaning a woman, or that relating where you’re giving her shit? Not interesting at all. In the least.
So…ABCs of curiousity: attention, body, and take a chance! Gotta go. Thank you. Bye!
The player will show in this paragraph
The player will show in this paragraph